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Presented    bT^ro^  ~B~B  .V^uCAr\\<2^  vd  ,':D.-D. 


Division  — 
Section 


HOW  .  JOSH  .  WORKED  .  UP  .  A 
.  .  CONCEPT.  .  . 


By  JOSH,  SENIOR. 


PUBLISHED  BY  FLEMING  H. 

REVELL  COMPANY,  NEW  YORK 
AND  CHICAGO. 


Copyiighted  1891  by  FLEMING  H.   REVELL. 


How  Josh  Worked  Up  a  Concept. 


Our  minister  is  mighty  smart; 

He  has  advanced  idees, 
And  isn't  slow  to  preach  'cm  out 

As  chipper  as  you  please. 
He  says  the  words  of  Scripter 

Mean  suthin'  clear  as  day; 
It's  what  he  calls  their  consep, 

But  it  ain't  jist  what  they  say. 
At  least  it  ain't  that  alius, 

For  the  words  can  git  askew; 
"And  if  you  stick   to  them,"  says  he, 

"You'll  go  a  skewin'  too." 
So  me  and  Josh  we  heerd  him, 

As  plain  as  plain  could  be. — 
Josh  isjist  comin'  twenty-five, 

An'  's  a  mighty  help  to  me. 
He  does  mos'  of  mj'  business  now, 

I've  got  so  old  and  stiff. 
Of  course  I  give  him  my  idees; 

But  he  takes  'em  in  a  jiff; 
An'  he  never  tries  to  twist  'em, 

But  he  alius  means  jist  right, 
An'  the    neighbors  an'  the  hired  hands, 

They'd  trust  him  day  or  night. 


HOW    JOSH    WORKED    UP    A    CONCEPT. 


Nex'  mornin',  eatin'  breakfast, 

Says  I  to  Josh,  "My  son, 
It's  time  we  had  that  buckwheat  in, 

'N  the  plowin"  isn't  done. 
An'  both  our  teams  is  tuckered  out; 

I  never  see  sich  ground." 
(You  see  we'd  been  a  dreenin' 

Of  the  big  long  meadow  pond; 
'N  the  hummocks  and  scrub  will  erroots, 

An'  cat-tail  roots  an'  sich, 
Made  plowin'  mighty  tiresome, 

For  the  bog  was  mighty  rich.) 
"Jim  Jones  is  got  eight  oxen, 

'N  he  said  he'd  come  a  day; 
So  send  a  man  to  tell  him  come. 

An'  send  him  right  away; 
An'  write  a  line,  an'  make  it  plain 

How  much  I  mean  to  pay. 
Jim's  brother  '11  have  to  come  along. 

So  each  kin  drive  two  yoke; 
But  I  reckon  it'll  take  two  days 

To  get  the  swamp  all  broke. 
An'  sence  they'll  have  five  mile  to  come. 

Through  the  big  piney  wood, 
I  guess  its  worth  a  V  apiece, 

Ef  they  do  the  job  up  good." 

Josh  got  his  pencil  right  away. 
An'  writ  jist  where  he  sot; 


HOW   JOSH    WORKED   UP  A   CONCEIT 


An'  then,  bimeby,  he  comes  to  me 

To  show  me  what  he'd  got. 
"No,    no,''  says  I,  and  straightened  up, 

"I've  tell'd  ye  what  to  say; 
I  guess  you've  got  a  good  consep; 

Jist  tell  it  your  own  way. 
It's  you  that's  writin'  to  Jim  Jones, 

I  don't  say  nuthin'  to  him; 
Jist  start  my  consep  down  his  way, 

An'  that'll  have  to  do  him." 

So  pretty  soon  the  Jones  boys  come, 

An'  brought  the  oxen,  too. 
I  tell  you,  how  the  roots  did  crack, 

When  they  put  them  ox-teams  through ! 
But  when  I  come  to  settle  up, 

An'  pay  'em  what  I  orter, 
They  wouldn't  settle,  more  'an  'ile 

'Ud  settle  into  water. 
I  give  'em  each  a  V,  and  says, 

"That  pays  for  team  an'  driver." 
Says  they,  "We  gits  two  Vs  apiece. 

Or  we  don't  take  a  stiver!" 
An'  then  they  showed  me  Josh's  line, 

An'  showed  my  name  put  to  it 
(The  stoopid  boy  had  writ  as  ef 

I  tell'd  him  how  to  do  it). 
It  said:  "You'll  have  a  pesky  job; 

The  meadow's  mighty  tough; 


HOW  JOSH   WORKED   UP  A  CONCEPT. 


I've  tuckered  out  my  bosses  there; 

Two  yoke  won't  be  enough. 
A  double  team  on  both  the  plows 

'III  do  it  slick  as  grease; 
So  bring  your  hull  four  yoke  along; 

I'll  pay  a  V  apiece." 
"That  means,"  says   they,  "the  hull 
four  yoke 

'111  get  four  Vs  among  'em; 
An'  ef  you  hadn't  gin  that  much, 

You  bet  we'd  never  brung  'em." 
Says  I,  "That  isn't  my  consep." 

"What's  that?''  says  Jimmy  Jones 
(His  eyes  wus  bigger  than  his  fists, 

An'  stared  like  two  big  stones). 
"What's  that?"  says  I;  "if  you'd  a  been 

Last  Sunday  in  your  pew, 
"You'd  know  consep  means  meanin',  an' 

It  means  my  meanin'  too. 
It  means  the   meanin'  what  I  put 

Right  into  Josh's  head. 
It  isn't  none  of  my  consarn 

What  Josh  here  went  an'  said." 
You  orter  a  seen  them  fellers  rare  ! 

Waal — ^jist  to  tell  it  short. 
We  argied  till  there  wa'n't  no  use, 

An'  then  we  went  to  court. 


HOW  JOSH   WORKED   UP   A   CONCEPT. 


The  jedge  he  was  a  fren'  of  mine, 

An'  honest  as  the  light; 
An'  know'd  'at  I  was  honest  too, 

Ef  I  could  see  it  right. 
Says  he,  "When   folks  gits  other    folks, 

To  put  their  meanin'  down, 
An'  sends  it  out  to  other  folks. 

An'  spreads  it  all  aroun'; 
Folks  number  one  is  boun'  to  see 

What  number  two's  a  sayin', 
Or  else  folks  number  three  does  right 

To  hold  'em  to  the  payin'." 
Jist  then  I  tried  to  say  "Consep 

(Jedge  goes  to  our  church; 
I  kind  o'  thought  he  wouldn't  leave 

Our  preacher  in  the  lurch). 
"Yes,  yes,"  says  he,  "I  heerd  all  that; 

'Ts  as  ef  our  preacher  fancies 
'At  goodness  isn't  up  on  talk, 

An'  has  to  take  its  chances. 
Ef  he  kin  find  that  in  the  Book 

I  wish  he'd  pint  me  to  it. 
I  guess  men  couldn't  talk  at  all 

Ef  they  wa'n't  helped  to  do  it. 
I  guess  the  One  that  made  their  tongues 

Could  tell  'em  how  to  use  'em; 
An'  ef  they  hadn't  fust-rate  words, 

Could  help  'em  how   to  choose  'em. 


HOW    JOSH    WORKED    UP    A    CONCEPT. 


But  let  that  go.      It  ain't  my  trade 

To  tell  men  how  to  preach. 
I  on'y  know  that  business  talk 

Can't  crawfish  out  o'   reach. 
Don't  talk  to  me  about  conseps! 

I  'spose  there's  some  sich  things; 
Jist  like  there's  water  in  the  airth 

That  ain't  come  out  in  springs. 
An'  so  there's  milk  that  ain't  been  milked, 

An'  sap  inside  the  tree; 
But  sich  don't  butter  buckwheat  cakes, 

An'  sweeten  'em — for  me. 
You  tap  your  tree,  and  bile  your  sap, 

An'  folks  knows  what  they're  buyin'; 
But  this  here  dealin'  in  con-sep — 

It's  jist  as  bad  as  lyin'. 
No,  no,  my  fren',  for  common  folks 

That  argyment  won't  wash. 
You'd  be  the  sneakin'est  kind  o'  man 

To  lay  that  job  on  Josh." 

I  paid  them  twenty  dollars  down, 

And  ain't  lost  nuthin'  by  it. 
I'll  tell  you  how.     You  take  my  word, 

An'  jist  go  home  an'  try  it  ! 
There's  words  all  through  the  Testament, 

Which,  every  time  I  find  'em. 
Thinks  I, "There  ain't  no  Josh  work  here; 

There's  Some  One  True  behind  'em!" 

Published  by  FLEMING  H.  REVELL  COMPANY,  New  York  &  Chicago 
PRICE   50j    OR   25c   PER    DOZ 


Date  Due 

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